In his defense, Brazilian Pastor claims he has “divine semen of the Holy Spirit”

Sobrino Valdeci Picanto

Sobrino Valdeci Picanto

Brazilian Pastor Sobrino Valdeci Picanto,59, was arrested for raping several women that attend his church. In his defense, Pastor Picanto claimed that he has been blessed with the “divine semen of the Holy Spirit,” and his penis is a pious tool that brings God into people’s lives via the mouth. According to one of the victims, “he has convinced us that only God could come into our lives through the mouth.” Another victim admitted, “Often, after worship, Pastor Valdecir take us to some of the funds back to the church and asked us to do oral sex on him until the Holy Spirit comes through ejaculation.”

Apparently, when the Pastor was a young Pastor spreading the word of God he had an encounter with Jesus in a brothel. During their encounter in the brothel, Jesus anointed his penis sacred, dipped his balls in Holy Water blessing his semen, and told him to go out in the world and spread that sacred seed as much as possible, in anything, and on top of everything, just fling the Holy Spirit everywhere, in the name of the Lord, Amen. So the story goes.

Pastor Sobrino’s mission prematurely ended, or was postponed, when he was recently caught rubbing his penis in a local merchant’s face promising her that his divine sperm will increase sales in her business. In addition, while en route to the police station Pastor Sobrino’s offered the arresting officer the keys to the kingdom of heaven. “Maybe later, I’m on duty.” The officer responded.

The Pastor quickly posted bail, was released, and was back out slinging his divine semen of the Holy Spirit. Only in Brazil.

Link: Brazil News